AuRoRa

I have this habit of listening to a song while reading the translation to see if I missed anything, and I did the same just now. I have to say, you don't need proofreading here. I suggest you listen to the song while reading your own translation bcz I did see some words you missed.

For example, in the line "흐릿해진 기억을 꺼내 다시 내게로" I can see you missed two words, one "다시" and the other "내게로" so in your translation you missed two important words. "again" and "to me". The translation should be something like "Your scent that still lingers brings back the past memories of you again to me". It could probably be translated better but my mind is just blocked right now sorry about that.

In the line "소리 없이 밝게 비춘 널 찾으러 가" you missed the word "소리 없이" meaning "without a sound/siletntly".

"널 가진 내게 머물러줘" is missing a translation for "널 가진" meaning "the one/me who has you" but I guess I'm being too literal, again my mind is blocked today so...

"and now holds your hand" should be "and now I hold your hand".

In the line "항상 그 보라색을 띠고 나를 지나갈 때도" you missed the "도" at the end meaning "even". If being literal. I just don't know what to say honestly I'm just bored I guess. Please don't take this one seriously.

Overall you don't need proofreading for translating from Korean to English, that is if you did translate this on your own without checking other translations, bcz I know this song has an official translation and there's another one here.

I hope I helped!